Cowardly Comments Behind the Mask of Anonymity

I leave the Internet alone for a few hours, and look what happens! I go out for a meeting with my life coach, and some drive-by ya-hoo litters my blog with shallow, contradictory, and fight-picking comments. I’ve deleted them. But since you obviously love attention, oh anonymous sir (I’m almost positive you’re male), I’m going to place them all here in one place, so we can get a full dose of them in one sitting.

You call yourself “Me,” email address: me@me.gov And here’s what you have to say:

“Hey, my cousin has Synesthesia…how dare you make fun of this awful disease!”

–On Synesthesia

“Hey, your post makes heaven sound like the mormon heaven, so will we get as many wives as we want, or will it be like Islam where we get 70 virgins?”

–On Living New Heaven & Earth Realities

“I’m all for house churches…I mean, what other church would allow you to worship and smoke wacky tobacky at the same time?”

–On Our Composting God: Making Meaning of the Mess

“So basically, you’re saying that now you’re a lazy out-of-work crazy….but in the future, we’ll all bow down to you because of your immense intelligence…sweet, sign me up!”

–On My Career Now and in the Future

“Wow, I like totally agree. I mean, in 2025, I want to have bionic legs so I can finally dunk the ball. No wait, I don’t want to have legs so I can sit in my recliner all day, and have “An Inconvenient Truth” streamed into my retinas….what a sweet freakin’ life!”

–On A Typical Day in my Life, 2025

I’m so in agreement with you mike. Calvin and Luther and the whole lot of church fathers, all the way back to the first century even, were a bunch of hypocrites. I mean, we live lives that are much more authentic than they ever did. I mean, can we even call those monsters Christians? I mean, they formed the paradigms with which all of us view Christianity, what an atrocity! I say, down with Calvin, down with Luther, with Augustine, and Peter and Paul, and Jesus…oh wait, strike that last one.

— On What to Do About Unrepentant Murderers in the Church?

Ah, the prolific pen of “Me.” How he lacerates with his poison wit, so deftly handling sarcasm and the ideological put-down. Could it really be me? My self-loathing, sophomoric alter-ego, giving myself a well-deserved punch in the you-know-where? Am I going to awaken at the keyboard one night to the stupefied realization that I’m Tyler Durden?

I’m open to the possibility. For now, though, I have a more modest proposal for “Me”: You can say what you want on my blog…within reason. What you’ve said, though absurd and unhelpful, isn’t out of bounds. But you can’t hide behind anonymity…identify yourself. C’mon, fess up: Who are you, Me? If you don’t tell, and you leave further unsigned comments, your IP address is goin’ bye-bye.